The Joker and The Ace
by Shade Mimir
Summary: Sequel to The Joker and The Queen - Hisoka takes it upon himself to sabotage Illumi's work. The only scenario more annoying would be Illumi actually requiring the help of his saboteur... Letting the poison just kill him would be significantly easier.


A/N: What is this? A new fic by moi? Incredible! Well, not so incredible. Let's see if anyone enjoys this installment first.

So, a few fun facts: 1. This is a sequel to "The Joker and The Queen". It _can _stand alone and is posted separately because it doesn't have as much humor and does take a sharp turn from K to M… but there are still references to its sister fic. 2. When I said trilogy, I meant trilogy. There will be another installment which, hopefully, won't take a little less than a year for me to get around to. I'm pursuing a career in writing for a living which is… going decently, actually. Unfortunately, it means that I'm really only writing these on a reward system when I finish real I'm-gonna-get-paid-for-this work. Which leads me to 3. I'm no longer a review whore, but I am writing these only for my own amusement. I enjoy sharing my work with others, so I post it around the net. I need some time to unwind after unhappy (and happy – their compliments can sound a lot like insults!) times with critics… but, I digress. Long story short: I hope my fics are still enjoyable and I do still appreciate any feedback you might have. Oh, and this chapter is very nearly just a PWP. See? I told you I wrote it for my own amusement.

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The Joker and The Ace

By Shade

_Illumi-kun, I want to hire you._

This message had been responded to with a deliberate and resound:

_No._

At least, if text messages could be "deliberate and resound", Illumi's was. He'd made his stance on accepting another job from Hisoka very clear the last time they had been in each-other's company.

_But, it's important._

Illumi hadn't asked why and again kept his response brief.

_Really?_

_No, not really. Would you come if I didn't hire you?_

Part of Illumi was quite torn over this. Part of him really did want to know what Hisoka could possibly have in mind for an outing this time. Of course, part of him was also an assassin still very miffed about having been tricked into playing the role of a pretty lady.

_No. I'm busy._

------------------------------------

Illumi regretted accepting work from Hisoka. It had been a little over two months since he'd masqueraded as a woman for the magician's benefit; a little over two months since they had dined at the posh auction hotel.

The meal had been nice, though Illumi had no fondness for gourmet meals. The conversation had been strained but passable, if not occasionally bordering on the offensive. The dancing… now, the dancing had been his idea – the kiss had not. Illumi usually found Hisoka's idiosyncrasies interesting. The kiss certainly hadn't been unpleasant, but after all the mystery of his invitation being a backup for failed plans with Machi…

Hisoka hadn't deserved the satisfaction.

"Your phone is making that noise again," Kalluto said in a soft voice, watching the cell on the windowsill.

Illumi had heard the ring that denoted a text message. He was sure it was from Hisoka. It always was. Illumi held out his hand anyway.

"Don't look at it, Kalluto." The texts had started as mere complaints about being bored and had slowly escalated to the pornographic. This particular message was no exception. "He's learned how to use a camera phone."

Illumi pressed delete. Two months ago he had blocked the number, assuming one of two things would happen. Hisoka would move on from the disappointment, finding something else to amuse himself with… or, if his schedule was free and he was bored enough, well, deterring him would be a bit more difficult than a few curt text messages.

And it was, indeed, proving near impossible. He couldn't even figure out how Hisoka kept unblocking his own number.

"Go on." Illumi went to the window, to where his younger brother stood loitering. "I have to leave soon." He patted Kalluto on the head then listened as the boy's footsteps retreated out the door. Both Illumi's gaze and his thoughts turned to the outdoors.

The leaves were changing now. Time was moving forward since his last encounter with Hisoka, the nights getting longer, the world getting colder. It all suited Illumi just fine and suited his plans for work even better.

Even with nature working in his favor, there was still the Hisoka variable.

_Each job_, Illumi thought to himself, equal parts inconvenienced and impressed. _How does he even find these things out?_

It had started after a week of rejecting Hisoka's texts. He was still in York-Shin, taking on a string of jobs while he was in the area. The client was a businessman and the target a launderer who must have had, Illumi was certain, an excessive amount of blood running through his veins.

Blood splatter created a very particular effect on walls and ceilings depending on how long it had been there. After a while it would turn crusty and brown, a fact Illumi had first discovered while trying to paint his room as a child. To his surprise, the walls had been exceptionally red when he entered the penthouse.

The victim was in ribbons on the floor. It was all very tasteful. The major arteries were slashed, and though the head was in absentia, everything else appeared intact. As a pièce de résistance, he had left behind at least a dozen literal calling cards. All in the suit of hearts. All blank except for the Queen.

_Do you have time for me now, Miss. Illumi?_

Illumi was a filing cabinet of emotions. They were all there, all filed alphabetically until he had a chance to properly shred and dispose of them. At that moment he was having a bit of trouble shutting all the drawers. There had been too many things going through his mind:

_Is he trying to see how much he can get away with?_

Illumi had no desire to initiate fights he wasn't sure that he could win, and despite Hisoka's many… many failings… he would make an excellent ally should the need ever arise – and it probably would.

_How long will he keep this up?_

What could Killua and Gon _and_ Machi be doing that was so uninteresting? Perhaps there was something Illumi could offer him now, something he couldn't get from the others quite as easily… Illumi was quick to snuff that line of thinking.

_What did he do with the head?_

There was no telling. Illumi let that matter rest.

It was another two weeks before Hisoka interfered again. A spurned and wealthy lover had grown tired of his wife's cheating ways. She had threatened him with divorce, he said. Without proof of her infidelity, she stood to inherit half his fortune.

That the client hadn't opted for proof rather than killing his wife and her entourage made Illumi suspicious – But the man had offered double the usual rate, and the questions still surrounding his client's own unfaithfulness didn't much interest Illumi.

She hadn't made it past the bathroom door. Illumi left the woman there in her silk robe and called the number for his client's cleaning crew. Before any contracts had been made, Illumi had made it abundantly clear that he did not dispose of bodies.

There had been no answer, and there was no money deposited into the designated account. Illumi was not at all surprised to see his client's picture in the newspaper the next day.

**CEO and Wife at Center of Gruesome Slayings**

_The cleaners were killed as well_, Illumi had thought, reading the article with impassive interest. _They think Hisoka and I were working together…_

And then there was his most recent job, a gang boss who had taken up residence between major cities. Suddenly, trade was a little more difficult and a counterfeiter the client required had gone into hiding. There was proof that the counterfeiter was under the employ of the upstart gang leader, and Illumi had been instructed to kill the latter – giving his client no competition.

He had taken many precautions. Illumi kept careful watch over the surrounding area. He kept track of the gang leader. He even went out of his way to watch over the counterfeiter. When he finally acted, the execution was perfection.

The client was not impressed. Two talented counterfeiters had approached only recently, begging for work. It was unheard of and also meant that Illumi's work was unnecessary. The terrified counterfeiters refused to go into the details surrounding their eagerness to find new work, but it wasn't necessary. Illumi had a good idea of who was responsible.

"Hisoka," Illumi said to himself, glancing down to the phone as it chimed with a new message.

_You have a new job. Can't wait, Illumi-kun. I'll buy you a drink._

_------------------------------------_

He was dressed down again. It was a little unnerving, really – that Hisoka could put on such casual, albeit stylish, clothing and blend in with society at large. Illumi almost felt sorry for the general public.

"You're hurting my work," he said and though Hisoka didn't face him, he saw the corner of his mouth curve in a sly smile. "Hisoka…"

"Calm down," Hisoka said with imperceptible sarcasm. "I have plans of my own. Won't you miss me once I'm gone?"

"No."

Hisoka faced Illumi, fingers poised over the top of a scotch glass. "You may after tonight." His eyes darted to the right for a moment, to an attractive brunette in the corner booth.

_The target_. Illumi recognized her from the picture he had been given. There had been few details aside from her appearance; a nen user, a chemist, a black widow of a woman with all the wrong connections.

"You're the second assassin to come here tonight," Hisoka said in an unusually quiet voice, raising his glass to Illumi before taking a sip. "She has friends all around us." He handed his drink off to Illumi and motioned to the bartender for another.

Assured that the alcohol wasn't poisoned, Illumi accepted the drink and a seat on the stool next to Hisoka. "And did you gather any information from this other assassin's death?"

Hisoka winked and made a smooth exchange of currency and drink with the bartender. "Why, Illumi, there are all sorts of things I know. What's it worth to you?"

Illumi had come to expect the unexpected from Hisoka, but this response still took him by surprise. "The three jobs you took from me seem like a good start."

"Do they?" Hisoka stared into his glass, pretending to consider that for a moment. "No, no I don't think so. All I wanted was a little attention. I was so lonely and Illumi is so cold. I'm doing you a favor tonight already, and after this I have places to be… Does that make you happy or do you enjoy my company?"

Illumi considered the word "enjoy". Assassins didn't "enjoy" as most people enjoyed, but they weren't quick to lose their temper either. "I would think the benefit of having you around outweighs the cons," he announced at last. "But it doesn't matter if you've lost interest, and I haven't found any benefits as of yet."

Hisoka stared at Illumi for a moment; eyes half-closed as if bored. "And?"

"Mm." Illumi grunted indifferently, shrugging his shoulders as he took a sip of scotch. Hisoka shrugged back and for a moment they only watched each other. "As much as I enjoy anyone's company," he said at last. "For instance, at present, I wouldn't kill you – I considered it a few days ago – but, I wouldn't kill you."

That seemed to pique Hisoka's interest. "You think you could kill me?" His tone wasn't mocking and his words weren't a challenge; he seemed genuinely curious. Illumi was excellent at reading people, but he needed none of those talents for this.

"I'm certain I _could _kill you." Illumi hesitated, resting a thoughtful finger against his lips. "no, ninety-percent certain." He was rarely _certain _about anything. "My odds would be lowered in an outright fight. I could stalk you. I follow some of my more difficult targets for a long time. I'm more patient than you are."

Hisoka didn't begrudge him that fact. "You are," he agreed, leaning in a little closer. "But you don't think I would sense you?"

"I would count on it." Illumi's voice took on an almost cheerful tone, though his expression remained unchanged. "It would be a gamble, but you would recognize who it was and… am I wrong in thinking that you wouldn't kill me immediately?"

There was a distant look in Hisoka's eyes, and Illumi knew he was picturing the scenario exactly; like a child hearing a particularly engaging bedtime story… or some much more sinister analogy. Illumi decided on the latter as Hisoka shook his head.

"I would confess plans to kill you and give up on the spot. It wouldn't matter if you believed me. You're confident enough in your own abilities and easy enough to excite that you would let me get close if I… what's it called? Press the right buttons?" Illumi never abandoned his commitments and right now he was quite committed to proving his 'I-could-kill-Hisoka' claim. He moved a little closer to, (Though Hisoka had closed most of the distance between them already.) resting one hand on his thigh to prove a point.

"I'm very good with pins. I think I know just where to press… ego first." Illumi held up one finger with his right hand, the other hand busy traveling up Hisoka's leg. The scene they were making attracted glances at first then stares. "You're narcissistic – Not about any one thing. You don't want compliments. You want to be noticed."

Indeed, Hisoka didn't seem put off by the attention. He was still smiling, maybe even looking a little surprised by Illumi's candor.

"Next are vague threats." Illumi held up a second finger. His other hand continued its travel upward, slipping around Hisoka's back instead of proceeding to more sensitive territory. A momentary flash of annoyance passed over the magician's face, but he still appeared very much intrigued.

"I'm certain I _could _kill you," Illumi said, lips moving next to Hisoka's ear in little more than a whisper. "No, ninety-percent certain…"

Sinews tensed. Muscles jerked then stopped, pinned – figuratively, to keep it from happening literally. The entire bar sat frozen with them.

Illumi held up a third finger behind Hisoka's back. "Third is a tangible threat. I have to appeal to your sadomasochism." He held the pin still near Hisoka's shoulder, applying just enough pressure for him to know that he could puncture the heart if he wished. Conversely, the corner of the playing card at his neck, reminded Illumi that it would be the last move he made in this world. "So, am I appealing?"

At first there was only a moan in reply. It slowly evolved into soft laughter. Out of the corner of his eyes, Illumi saw the woman in the booth rising. Several others around the bar were doing the same and it was just as well; now that he'd worked Hisoka up like this, _someone _had to die.

"Well, I'm definitely not bored of you anymore, Il…lu…mi," Hisoka spoke the name slowly, drawing out the syllables. The hand with the card followed the assassin's throat as Illumi moved back a little; allowing them eye-contract. "You want attention too, hmm? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous."

"I understand your interest in Gon… but, Machi?" Illumi leaned into the card and closer to Hisoka, letting a small amount of blood bead there. "I have no reason to be jealous of Machi." Illumi's eyes remained open as he pressed a dispassionate kiss to Hisoka's lips; a kiss that was more a claiming of territory than show of affection.

Then he let the pin fly. One of the men advancing fell dead behind a table. A second man fell as a playing card whizzed across him. The target stepped back into a fighting stance, and Illumi leapt over the bar rather than attacking her head on.

Glass shattered, customers screamed. Illumi slipped several pins between his fingers and let them fly as he ran. He was a little upset with himself for allowing a fight to be initiated before he'd had a chance to see his target in action or scope out the area… or not pick a fight at all. Illumi always preferred stealth and deception over unnecessary hassle. _Hisoka's making me careless…_

Illumi stopped in a hallway, relying on the assumption that his target was overconfident. It would have to do. The woman rounded the corner and a hasty pin paralyzed her left side.

Illumi clicked his tongue in disappointment and readied a second attack. The target fell but didn't lose momentum. To Illumi's surprise, she produced needles of her own.

"That would have been handy to know," Illumi muttered aloud, dodging the needles with difficulty. The hall kept his target from dodging, but it limited his own range of motion as well. Illumi had grace, agility, and energy enough to dodge for days on end if need be… but even this was asking a lot of him. A few of his own pins deflected the needles, but her weapons were smaller, sharper. By the time the barrage ended, one had grazed Illumi's cheek.

"What a rude woman." There was the clattering of metal on wood as Hisoka grabbed the woman's wrists from behind. Her needles scattered the floor and she fixed her anger on the magician instead.

Of course, there was little she could do now.

"This could have gone better," Illumi announced, drawing only one purposeful pin as he moved closer to his target.

Hisoka shrugged, wrenching the struggling woman around. She clawed futilely at his wrists, shrieking nonsense. They all spewed nonsense when they saw the end coming. Illumi usually tried to ignore it. "I agree, and I wasn't the one who attracted all the attention… I'm as surprised as you that it isn't my fault, really."

"Oh, well." With a flick of the wrist, Illumi popped a pin between the woman's eyes. "I should be relieved that _I_ was the one to finish this job. I-"

Illumi's vision blurred. His legs lost all rigidity, and he staggered forward. A thud signaled Hisoka dropping the dead target and catching Illumi instead. "Oh, dear. The job didn't finish you, did it?"

"When they said chemist, they didn't mention poison. _You _didn't mention poison."

"I didn't?"

Illumi wasn't fond of being gathered up into Hisoka's arms. They were comparable in size and the logistics of it were awkward. Illumi focused his attention on the target's superficial cat-scratches now peppering Hisoka's forearms. He wished very hard that she had done worse. "Where are you taking me?"

"To her lab in the back," Hisoka said, kicking open the furthermost door and negotiating his way through it with Illumi. "You see, _I _did my homework. Don't worry, Il-lu-mi I'll patch you right up."

There was something uniquely sobering about the thought of Hisoka playing doctor. Each syllable in his name hit like a tiny alarm. His vision cleared enough to get a good look at the room, at the strange equipment and flasks and burners and hundreds of tiny, white-labeled bottles.

"Did you leave anyone alive? Anyone who might know what they're doing?" Illumi asked as he was laid on a loveseat upholstered with the tackiest red velvet he had ever seen. _Mother would love it_, he thought, looking away in disgust as the heady scent of a woman's perfume assaulted him.

Illumi began to notice other feminine touches; flowers arranged in beakers, bottles of nail polish amidst chemicals, a smattering of cheap-looking novels along the counters. Illumi didn't like this room at all.

"I like this room." Hisoka snapped open one of the cheap novels, flipping through its pages as he scanned the white-labeled bottles. "And I do know what I'm doing. I'm ninety-percent certain I know."

Illumi wanted to stand and leave. At the very least, he wanted to get to his cell phone. Even Illumi felt ashamed at the thought of asking his family for help in a job that was his own, but shame was nothing to die over.

His body felt heavy and his muscles shook with any excess of effort. He considered asking Hisoka to call for him, but decided to save the energy.

"This is it, I think." Hisoka held one of the tinted bottles up to the light. He seemed satisfied and took it to the sink, to a folksy little liquor cabinet above the faucet. "Don't go anywhere," he teased, removing a shot glass and bottle of clear liquor from the impressive collection of drinking paraphernalia above.

Liquid from the tiny bottle was measured out first then topped with a generous amount of liquor from its larger counterpart. When Hisoka came back to the loveseat, it was with both the shot glass _and _liquor bottle. "Cheers!" He didn't wait for Illumi to say that he didn't trust the potentially death-dealing cocktail in his hand. As was their tradition, Hisoka took the first sip.

Illumi watched, waiting for some ill reaction. When Hisoka didn't keel over, Illumi conceded. He choked on it at first, even with Hisoka angling his head. His throat was beginning to feel thick and constricted, making breathing difficult.

"I always knew there was nothing to this healing business." Hisoka lifted Illumi by the shoulders and sat. Leaning back against Hisoka was uncomfortable, but Illumi found his breaths _were _coming a little easier. It did not, however, prepare him for the sting of alcohol on his cheek. "I still prefer the opposite… Maybe I can find a way to combine the two in the future… No? Oh, well."

Illumi felt blood mingle with the acrid wetness on his cheek. The brush of fingers wiped away most of it and more liquor followed. There was less stinging this time and very little of the stickiness he associated with blood.

Like a cat with a taste for intoxicants and flesh, Hisoka's tongue came last. What should have made Illumi more uncomfortable eased him. Assassins didn't have friends and Illumi had never desired warmth from anyone. The emotions linked with this moment were ones he couldn't place, reaching him with some primitive level of affection lost to civil society.

Time seemed to slow, falling into the rhythm of his blood pulsing. Thee was no rush. The police avoided places that attracted known nen-users; barring the incident was contained. They would get here, but in their own time, when the danger had passed. They had no way of dealing with opponents like Hisoka. Sometimes it was best to let the fire burn itself out.

"I'm a little impressed," Illumi admitted, clenching and unclenching a fist. He leaned his head back to find Hisoka wearing his usual smile. "_a little_," he repeated, raising one fatigued hand to his forehead. He could move again. He could breathe, but now he felt feverish. Shivers wracked his insides, though none made it outward. To the back of his own hand he felt warm, and Hisoka's fingers were surprisingly cool on his cheek.

"Poor, Illumi." Hisoka was still smiling. It was impossible to read the smile. It almost always was. "Maybe we should cool you down. I'm sure there's a bathroom with a shower somewhere around here…"

Illumi was unused to running fevers. He didn't get sick, though apparently he could be poisoned. He didn't like it at all. He wanted to be rid of this heat and he didn't want to take the time to search for a shower that may or may not be in a bar.

"I saw a fountain outside," he said, standing. Soft laughter behind him told Illumi that Hisoka would follow. _He _would _find this entertaining_.

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The fountain Illumi had passed earlier was undoubtedly expensive. An angelic figure stood in the center; marble wings outstretched, water flowing from a pitcher in its finely carved hands. In the light of day, there had been children balancing on the wide outer ring or tossing in small change. Now that it was growing dark there were only salary men and women resting, eating greasy dinners from sidewalk venders or talking on cell phones. Their evening took a turn for the awkward when Illumi strolled into the water and took a casual seat beneath the pitcher.

The water hissed, and Illumi watched steam form around him. He may have been unused to fevers, but even he was sure _this _wasn't supposed to happen. His fingers worked at his collar, then at peeling off layers all together.

Through the steam he could see the shadows of businessmen fleeing. Work papers scattered and impromptu dinners were abandoned. Only one figure remained, perched on the edge of the fountain and regarding Illumi with amusement.

"It affects the aura?" Illumi guessed, letting his shed clothing grow heavy with water and sink. The water only brought momentary relief as it hit his shoulders. Inside, Illumi was squirming, miserable in the choking heat of the steam. He had always exercised perfect control over his own energy. To have it go haywire like this was a nightmare. "I don't think your antidote is working, Hisoka."

"It is," Hisoka assured him, crouching down low on the edge of the fountain and resting his arms on his knees. "What you need now is an antidote to the antidote."

There was no use in trying to follow Hisoka's impossible hedge maze of logic. "What did you do?"

"I took a peek at what your lovely target was selling. Slow acting poisons… fast acting poisons… poisons only meant to paralyze, like the one she used on you… and the most interesting aphrodisiacs… Only one of those sounded at all interesting." Hisoka stepped into the water, beginning a slow approach. He measured his steps, obviously wary of Illumi and with good reason.

Illumi wasn't enjoying Hisoka at all presently.

He had been tricked. Again. Illumi had never been dying, only stunned. He should have known that. _Hisoka really is making me careless_. "Get away," he warned reaching for pins that were only idle threats. In this state he had no way of fending off someone so strong. He could only hope that Hisoka would respect his wishes… which, of course, he wouldn't.

"But all this heat is making me uncomfortable too," Hisoka said in petulant tones. He took a knee, still fully clothed. The water came just above his waist and the steam moistened his stylish suit jacket and button-up shirt. He reached one hand out toward Illumi's face but stooped just short of contact. "I can go back inside, bring something out that will fix this, or…" Hisoka trailed off, heavily-lidded eyes accentuating a particularly wicked smile.

Illumi's fingers tensed around his pins. Internally, he agonized over his body's needs versus his desire to see Hisoka in terrible pain. He wouldn't have the opportunity to hurt Hisoka. He certainly wouldn't be able to kill him.

Asking for a proper antidote was an option, but part of Illumi couldn't bring himself to voice the request. Like the kiss two months ago, this would also be a first for Illumi. You never knew what knowledge you would need later in life. All things needed to be experienced first hand, and if it was going to be anyone… He might as well "enjoy" Hisoka.

Illumi leaned forward, into Hisoka's palm. The touch was chemical and electric and wonderfully cold. It was the sort of cold you experienced by taking a deep breath after a hot shower or after eating mint candy or after drinking strong but sweetened booze; all inside and tingling and somehow icy. Hisoka's poisoned antidote went from terrible to intoxicating all at once.

Illumi possessed a text-book knowledge of sex. He knew the formula, the materials needed, and the theory. What he wasn't sure of was the actual practice. The hand on Illumi's cheek worked around to the back of his head. He shifted awkwardly as he rose to his knees.

He would need at least one free hand. Illumi shuddered inwardly as Hisoka drew back his hair, fingers tangling in the long strands as he kissed his neck. The assassin's fingers twitched around his pins, reluctant to disarm himself in a situation that could easily get out of hand.

"Hey, hey!" A man's voice came obnoxious and clear through the fog. "Hey you can't do that! Get out of there!" The pins in Illumi's right hand flew, joining a playing card on its journey to silence the intruder.

A strangled cry blended in with the background noise of the city. Illumi had no time for any of it. His attention was on his own hands. As skilled and nimble as they were, they fumbled over clothing now. The steam was still suffocating and he couldn't seem to get the flesh to flesh contact needed to cool himself.

"Careful," Hisoka warned, the word amused and musical as Illumi employed the use of his left hand; the use of his pins. "And I thought I was the impatient one…"

Illumi peeled off clothing in pieces; the left arm of a jacket, the right sleeve of a shirt. He tossed them away like wrapping paper on all the presents he'd never gotten for his birthday. "Wear less."

"I'll remember that for next time."

Illumi supposed he should be thankful that Hisoka wasn't in his "work clothes".

The chill cold rushed through his chest. Illumi pressed himself to Hisoka. When arms enveloped him, his own hands found their way around the magician. The world changed its tempo, speeding up to address Illumi's needs.

Hisoka did most of the work. Illumi only clung to him, riding the friction and strange waves of pleasure. Long fingers slipped beneath the waist of his pants. It seemed Hisoka had unraveled the mysteries of undressing someone else in ways that very nearly made Illumi blush. This time it was his turn to warn Hisoka to be careful.

"Don't drown me." It would be wrong to say that Illumi "gasped", but his voice was anything but level. He blinked up at Hisoka, the small of his back on the floor of the fountain, his head only above water due to his tight grip on steam-slick shoulders. The pause that followed made Illumi wonder if Hisoka actually needed him alive for sex.

Illumi's palms stung as they slammed against the marble of the fountain's center statue. He was back on his knees and a little disoriented. The tiny alarms from before were all going off again. "No." Illumi began to turn. Nothing seemed safe about putting your back to someone like Hisoka.

"If you would really rather drown…"

The heat crept back in; the sounds of the city flooded his senses. Illumi still didn't have time for this, he really didn't. One pin moved suddenly, shimmering in the condensation. The water in the fountain rippled with strange energy from both narcotized auras. Illumi took some solace in the fact that his heart was still beating. The arm and card dangling over his shoulder was certainly no friendly warning.

"Is this better?"

Illumi glanced down to his own hands and to the familiar one they held. The end of the pin resting over Hisoka's wrist was no friendly warning either. "Just do it." Already Illumi could sense Hisoka glowering with displeasure behind him. This couldn't have been what Hisoka had in mind.

_It's for the best. He's a distraction and a liability. After this he'll lose interest. You can finish jobs properly from now on and_- Illumi's eyes widened marginally, caught off guard by a sudden burst of mint-chill pain. Goosebumps rose on his skin as the heat left all at once, leaving something… Illumi could only call it "new".

"Ah!" It was only a syllable; one horrible, traitorous syllable that had escaped all on its own. At first he thought that, just maybe, Hisoka hadn't noticed.

But he had.

Hisoka slowed at first, the air of displeasure around him fading. When he began again his efforts seemed to be focused on drawing more emotion from his emotionless Illumi.

Illumi bit his lip and drew blood. Without fully realizing it he dropped the pin over Hisoka's wrist, and with both hands free, dug his nails into his own palms until crescent-shaped cuts formed. But the pain only accentuated things, only blended with the pain of the thrusting.

The playing card was dropping from Hisoka's fingers when Illumi grabbed the wrist he'd pressed the pin to. He heard a pitchy moan from Hisoka as he raised it again and bit down hard into the hand. Hisoka's rhythm faltered, becoming more unpredictable. It suited Hisoka and, Illumi realized, it suited him as well. With one hand still free, Hisoka relied on Illumi to keep himself steady.

A light touch traveled down Illumi's chest and stomach, over his hip, and along his thigh. Illumi bit down harder as he came closer to climaxing and the light touch became fiercer. By the time blood was dribbling from the corners of Illumi's mouth Hisoka's hand was laid flat against his chest, pressing hard enough to leave bruises.

Illumi had a vague awareness of sirens in the distance, a vague awareness of the steam around them dissipating, and of his own muffled moaning. Somewhere was the knowledge that he was still an assassin having sex in a fountain with someone he could only sometimes tolerate – with his Hisoka. His mouth almost formed the name as he arched back, blood and saliva on his chin as he drew in a sharp, ragged breath and released.

As soon as it had begun, it was over.

Illumi collapsed into the water, still gripping Hisoka's hand. It was strange to him. Somehow a lifetime of training and assassinations still hadn't prepared him for the exhaustion of this moment.

For a while he just laid there with the pocket change, staring up into the night sky from the bottom of the fountain. Illumi opened his mouth and let the blood rise like smoke. The hand in his own flexed and Illumi took a moment to examine it.

The weary assassin drew twisted pleasure in seeing the damage he had done. _The least I can do…_ Illumi thought as Hisoka's injured hand pulled him back up. Illumi offered neither resistance nor help. Hisoka left him lying against the statue.

The steam had evaporated some of the water in the fountain. It still came to Illumi's chin and lapped against his blood-flecked lips as he regarded Hisoka with, once more, impassive eyes.

"That was fun," Hisoka announced at last, pushing back his damp hair with one hand. Illumi was still enjoying the other hand, now examining the impression of his own teeth there. "Do you want to come back to the hotel with me?"

And with that things truly were over.

Illumi fished his clothing from the fountain and stood, aware of Hisoka's admiring gaze as water was wrung from his shirt.

"This doesn't seem fair. You ripped up my clothes." Hisoka feigned sadness. "They were expensive."

"It doesn't seem fair," Illumi agreed, pulling on soggy pants first. "You ruined three of my jobs and poisoned me. It doesn't seem fair at all." Hisoka was standing by the time Illumi pulled the shirt over his head and past his eyes. The uninjured hand caressed his face and though there was no longer any of the chemical electricity from before, there was still something very appealing about Hisoka's touch.

"But we _are _even now, right?"

Illumi watched Hisoka and wondered what he saw. When people looked into Illumi's eyes they saw nothing – no hopes, no dreams, no aspirations. There were very few emotions he considered almost worth while, and even these only made it as far as his voice

In his cold little filing cabinet of a heart, there was only limited room designated for something distantly related to love. His brothers fit there, and his mother. Even they didn't see that particular emotion; not in his eyes.

But Hisoka's gaze made Illumi uncomfortable, made him suspect that he saw something he shouldn't – like Illumi debating over exactly where his Hisoka belonged.

"No," Illumi said at last – "no" and nothing more. Hisoka was still smiling when he turned and dashed off into the night with inhuman speed – an assassin's speed.

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Hisoka's nudity had caused quite the commotion in the lobby, but it was nothing a generous tip to the owner wouldn't fix. Now back in his own room, he stepped from the shower and pulled on one of the hotel's soft, white robes.

His cell phone was on a nightstand. Hisoka gave it a thoughtful glance as he dropped down into the chair nearest the window. In the end, he decided against texting Illumi. Acquiring a new number each time Illumi blocked his was a tiring affair and Hisoka was feeling unusually tired tonight.

Hisoka thought of the day; of sex and Illumi and aphrodisiacs. He thought of Illumi's target and the poisons she had made. He had watched her since morning. Before the first assassin arrived and failed, she had eaten a light breakfast in a corner booth. She had chatted with the bartender who spiked her brunch-time coffee with top-shelf booze for a smile and a wink. Like most boring women Hisoka knew, she had started painting her nails to pass the time.

Unlike most women, she had been especially precise with the tiny brush. Each nail earned her full concentration and two careful coats of polish. Hisoka was no assassin. He had grown bored of watching and only recalled later, the glow of nen when she admired her painted fingers in the light.

Hisoka looked down at the hand Illumi had bitten. It hurt, but it was a pleasant, lingering sort of pain – not the spidering, nauseating pain he suspected to be emanating from the scratches on his wrists.

They were such tiny, "superficial cat-scratches"…

Hisoka reached for his cell phone.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! I look forward to feedback and hope you enjoyed. Whether you did or not, I'm still writing the next chapter. It was so much fun to use someone else's characters after so much time with my own… not that I don't love them. I'll leave your with a few random facts/thoughts:

I've developed an unhealthy fear of adverbs. – Did you know they dubbed Hunter x Hunter? I didn't. It's terrible! – I'm dying to make myself a nice, little Hisoka x Illumi amv with all the free-time I don't have. Does anyone have any doujins I can splice in? Fanart? Do you have any? Care to draw me any? Don't think I should get my hopes up? I probably shouldn't. – I made Hunter x Hunter Sims! Kurapica was spanking Leorio while Hisoka and Illumi wandered the family mansion, turning on _every _fireplace in _every _room. That sounds about right, doesn't it?

And, yes, I've missed cliff-hanger'ish endings. I haven't been able to do one in a while, so… yay for me.

Edit 1/31/09 - it seems that I lied. It still irks me to see people favorite without reviewing. It's very flattering, I love you bunches, but it stabs me in the OCD to see favorites popping up with zero reviews. Even if English isn't your first language, a sentence or two is appreciated.


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